Long time since the last post...haven't really had anything good to say though. Not a man of few words, just a boy-guy of few meaningful words. Evidence? Read my last post. Blarg. Must've been asleep or sommat...I don't drink, so I can't blame that, sadly.
Point is, if the candy burns your mouth, it's barely sour enough.
But recently, I've been wondering about deepish issues. At least for me...normally, I'm content thinking about food.
So, among those deeper issues is abortion, violence, and cheese soda...I consider that a deep issue. I can't entirely focus my mind on violence and murder without having some negative effect on it. Like wanting to use violence on the murderers.
But mostly, I fall back on the age old question of: Just because I can do something without sin, does that mean I should?
Haven't found the answer yet. Or maybe I have, and don't want to admit it. There's a lot of that particular flu going around right now.
I end with this:
Let's extinguish the anguish for which we're to blame, and save the world from going down in flames.
Or: Let it burn. I'll help pile on the fuel.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
An unorthodox philosophical point learned through great pain.
Odd title? Odd post. I won't lie to you, I'm about to show off some of my inner insanity...And inner twelve year old.
So...my aunt has cancer in her foot. They're operating on it today, and we're going to head up to the hospital for comfort and support. We have to leave in three and a half hours...and I've not gone to sleep yet. I can't. All because of...a gas bubble in my gut. XD
It's rather funny, really. Though the fact that my stomach is swelling up like a balloon and pressing against my back, stomach and internal organs is rather cool.
Or, one of those nasty movie moments where the alien busts out of my gut is about to happen. "Busting a gut" has new connotations.
Either way, I got to thinking (always dangeresque): It's all my fault, really. I accidentally added about two and a half tablespoons of Savinas pepper, a wicked seasoning far, FAR, hotter than your normal red pepper. The stuff clotted and poured out onto the raw beef on it's own...meh.
So. The cause of my pain, is my own self. I cooked the meat, I ate it. No one else is to blame. I am my own worst enemy. I could've made a sammich. XD I've had stomach issues for the two days since I've eaten it.
So, there's one point. The one person who causes us to fall is our own selves. Others can toss temptation our way (my sister actually bought me the pepper) but I choose to use it and eat it. Er, I choose to give in to temptation, and suffer the consequences. Jesus saved me (and you) from the ultimate punishment for our sins by His blood, but we still face the consequences of our choices on this planet.
So that's point one. Point two is...more uncomfortable. In several ways.
I'd rather be punched in the stomach than have it explode from the inside out, as it currently is. Why? Punch pain fades rather quickly. This will too eventually, but it lasts longer.
There's also a few other...less painful, more nasty side effects. I promise I won't illuminate. You can guess. But it works that way in life too. The sins we commit do not just have a large effect, but "smaller" ones too. Like a pebble tossed into apond grows into larger rings.
So...it appears that the nastiest things come from inside us, not outside. You can punch me in the face, it'll hurt, but it'll fade. I can even block it. But the stuff in my own innards? Not so much. That comes from my own heart, and that's where evil comes from. It's not what goes into me that matters, but what comes out. I can spread anger, filth, or foulness from my heart. Or, with God, I can spread love, joy, and laughter.
The things inside us can hurt others too. In more than the obvious ways in this case. :D Hatred in my heart can lead to murder, covetousness to theft, ETC.
I told you it was unorthodox. To say the least. XD But a valid point, I deem. At least to the 12-15 year old males who would find it as funny as I do. Like when the wise old monkey in the Lion King smacked Simba in the face. That was funny, but also taught him a lesson.
So...my aunt has cancer in her foot. They're operating on it today, and we're going to head up to the hospital for comfort and support. We have to leave in three and a half hours...and I've not gone to sleep yet. I can't. All because of...a gas bubble in my gut. XD
It's rather funny, really. Though the fact that my stomach is swelling up like a balloon and pressing against my back, stomach and internal organs is rather cool.
Or, one of those nasty movie moments where the alien busts out of my gut is about to happen. "Busting a gut" has new connotations.
Either way, I got to thinking (always dangeresque): It's all my fault, really. I accidentally added about two and a half tablespoons of Savinas pepper, a wicked seasoning far, FAR, hotter than your normal red pepper. The stuff clotted and poured out onto the raw beef on it's own...meh.
So. The cause of my pain, is my own self. I cooked the meat, I ate it. No one else is to blame. I am my own worst enemy. I could've made a sammich. XD I've had stomach issues for the two days since I've eaten it.
So, there's one point. The one person who causes us to fall is our own selves. Others can toss temptation our way (my sister actually bought me the pepper) but I choose to use it and eat it. Er, I choose to give in to temptation, and suffer the consequences. Jesus saved me (and you) from the ultimate punishment for our sins by His blood, but we still face the consequences of our choices on this planet.
So that's point one. Point two is...more uncomfortable. In several ways.
I'd rather be punched in the stomach than have it explode from the inside out, as it currently is. Why? Punch pain fades rather quickly. This will too eventually, but it lasts longer.
There's also a few other...less painful, more nasty side effects. I promise I won't illuminate. You can guess. But it works that way in life too. The sins we commit do not just have a large effect, but "smaller" ones too. Like a pebble tossed into apond grows into larger rings.
So...it appears that the nastiest things come from inside us, not outside. You can punch me in the face, it'll hurt, but it'll fade. I can even block it. But the stuff in my own innards? Not so much. That comes from my own heart, and that's where evil comes from. It's not what goes into me that matters, but what comes out. I can spread anger, filth, or foulness from my heart. Or, with God, I can spread love, joy, and laughter.
The things inside us can hurt others too. In more than the obvious ways in this case. :D Hatred in my heart can lead to murder, covetousness to theft, ETC.
I told you it was unorthodox. To say the least. XD But a valid point, I deem. At least to the 12-15 year old males who would find it as funny as I do. Like when the wise old monkey in the Lion King smacked Simba in the face. That was funny, but also taught him a lesson.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
A Heavy Hearted Work of Staggering Genius.
For the record, the title is not me being horrendously vain. XD It's a song from Anberlin. Actually, both the songs referenced were...and Reading them, I realize how horrible they sound. I promise they aren't dirty, they make sense when listened to in their entirety. "Audrey, Start the Revolution" and "Dance dance Crista Paffgan".
The events in this post actually happened with little embellishment. No artists were hurt in the making of this post. One dugong was slightly injured in the playground scene. We warned it not to do the monkey bars.
First I gather the supplies. Three sheets of construction paper, no, four. Two white...cream? I dunno what the color is. Two of them, one red, one blue. The blue is nearly purple, perhaps cerulean. It'll work. Grab the glue stick and a red marker while I'm digging around in the craft basket.
Next, a needle. The ribbon threader needle is still up in my room from my last project, but I think I need a smaller--
*freeze*...were those steps? I shake my head, just my imagination. Pay attention. I search among the sew box looking for a needle of appropriate size. Shouldn't this be called a sewing box? But no, the box doesn't sew!
Focus. Needle...there, perfect size. Next, scissors. Should have gotten those from the kitchen while I was in there. Either way, orange handled scissors should be in the junk drawer. Wondering why the marker in my hand has no name on it, it's just red. It aggravates me. Pull the broken drawer out, and grab the scissors, passing over the kitchen shears for being to rough for this kind of work. They'll work, but the orange ones are much more to your liking.
Turn and look around for your...there! My cup of choco style milk. The burn mah face off foodage you ate for supper will be no match for this creamy treat.
I gather my supplies and head upstairs, setting them on my desk when I reach my room. I sip the milk. I can stack the paper up with some glue to create a thicker card, and trim the layers to create multiple colors. Cool.
Walking across the hallway, I talk to my mom for a bit. Talk about what type of fish you want in your tank. Probably bettas. I tell her I'm working on a project in my room, and not to come in. Wonder what she thinks I'm doing? Probably something I shouldn't. That's OK.
Return to my room, sit down at your desk. Open up your Zune media playah and select your ultimate playlist. Briefly you consider whether or not to listen to favorites only...no, randomnity is the spice of life. Of course you remember that too much spice caused you much pain at supper, and will likely case more later.
Ultimate playlist it is.
First outline what you're planning on. Top of page will say "HAPPY" in those thick letters. Middle will say "Mom", but with a heart in it in place of an O. Below that, a large sized "DAY". Wonder if "HAPPEH" would work? No, it'd likely be badly received.
Hmm...blue on top, middle red, blue bottom. Sounds good. Cut out the letters, and the heart, but use marker for the M's. Blue Happy, Blue Day, red heart. Then sew around the edges to give it a fancy look. Shweet idea. Wonder what I can do for my Dad's birthday?
Focus. Time to measure and cut. In that order. But wait...have to draw carefully so as not to let the pencil lead show. Nice catch.
Oops. One of the blue sides is smaller...that's alright. Just use it at the top.
Carefully glue the red sheet down first. Get the edges, then run some down the middle. OK. Align the edges carefully...bah. slightly off. But better than you'd thought. Next, the blue. Work that glue stick little Jimmy. Make those third graders who really use them proud!
Hmm...still slightly off. Oh well, that's why you didn't go into structural design...yet. But math is not your favorite thing, you love the arts.
Focus...oh! This song is amazing!
If this isn’t love (If this isn’t love)
This is the closest I’ve ever been
Do you think we have a chance tonight?
As streetlights sing on Audrey’s song!
Use the power of the song to complete your art? You. Know. It. Now, focus.
Glue the white sheet on top...nope, need to cut it first. Japanese carvers knife'll work great. Lightly trace the letters with your pencil...good stuff. Try to avoid cutting it twice, because if you don't like it the first time, you definitely won't the second...or something.
Boogers...slipped. ...Doesn't look too bad. Keep cutting, but go slower.
There, "happy" finished. No on to the heart. Flip the page over and trace it on the back. *tracetracetrace*
...schnap. Why is it your hearts always look better on one side than the other. Hmm...perhaps a nice deep thought. Expound on it later, you will, maybe.
CAN YOU NOT FOCUS?!?!
...Sorry. Cut the heart out, then draw the "day" extra big. Done. That came out nicely. Keep the extra pieces to glue back in place for the letters with hole's. Glue the white piece on top with care. Slide the glue stick around the edges, and the middle...oops. Will the heart now have glue upon it?
Is that...yes, that song too, rocks. Take a moment to pay attention.
...
Your black dress in disarray
Only dance floor prayers can save {you}
But it's you that's coursing through my veins
Don't need no drugs, you're my chemical
Now I'm dependent, swear I'm clinical
Addicted to those glances, taking chances tonight
I need a fix in those heroin eyes
Don't need no drugs, you're my chemical
Now I'm dependent, no not cynical
Addicted to those glances, taking chances tonight
I need a fix in those heroin eyes
Now, write out your message on the card. Rather nice, you search the air for another word to add...Screen saver pops up "Strong Beer. Wow this stuff tastes good!" Not a message you'd normally approve of, but it's Strong Bad related. Strong. That'll be great!
Oh schnap. The card was the wrong way when glued. Red paper is poking out at the top of the D.
Take a long pull off the choco milk, sit back and sigh. Can you fix it? Not likely. You'd have to remake the card. Marker? No...best hope no one notices. Can't make anything perfect anyway. Out of your grasp. Even on Guitar Hero the meter rarely hit's 100%.
Now you have to sew. The small needle nearly bends when pushed through the paper, the thread is too thick to go on it anyway, being red cotton yarn. The knife will cut holes then you'll push the ribbon needle through. Do a looped stitch for fanciness.
Drill holes with the knife, sew it up. Sew around the heart too. Doing patternized stitches in the bottom and the top. There...looks nice. Aside from the mistakes.
Open the door and look outside. Mum's in bed. Walk downstairs, lay the card against the lamp. Nope, forgot your signature. Run back up the stairs, grab a guitar pick...a red one. It's one of your favorites, but you like it that way. Adding the guitar pick makes it apparent that not only have you spent time on the home made card, you've also put something you love into it. Or so you think. No need to sign your name either, or get yelled at for not signing it. Glue stick makes it's way into your pocket leaving the room.
Grab the card as you pass the lamp, flip it, glue it, and stick the pick in the middle of the heart on the back. Carefully set it down, pick side up. ...Hope mom likes it.
So that's how I maded my Mummy a card. <3
The events in this post actually happened with little embellishment. No artists were hurt in the making of this post. One dugong was slightly injured in the playground scene. We warned it not to do the monkey bars.
First I gather the supplies. Three sheets of construction paper, no, four. Two white...cream? I dunno what the color is. Two of them, one red, one blue. The blue is nearly purple, perhaps cerulean. It'll work. Grab the glue stick and a red marker while I'm digging around in the craft basket.
Next, a needle. The ribbon threader needle is still up in my room from my last project, but I think I need a smaller--
*freeze*...were those steps? I shake my head, just my imagination. Pay attention. I search among the sew box looking for a needle of appropriate size. Shouldn't this be called a sewing box? But no, the box doesn't sew!
Focus. Needle...there, perfect size. Next, scissors. Should have gotten those from the kitchen while I was in there. Either way, orange handled scissors should be in the junk drawer. Wondering why the marker in my hand has no name on it, it's just red. It aggravates me. Pull the broken drawer out, and grab the scissors, passing over the kitchen shears for being to rough for this kind of work. They'll work, but the orange ones are much more to your liking.
Turn and look around for your...there! My cup of choco style milk. The burn mah face off foodage you ate for supper will be no match for this creamy treat.
I gather my supplies and head upstairs, setting them on my desk when I reach my room. I sip the milk. I can stack the paper up with some glue to create a thicker card, and trim the layers to create multiple colors. Cool.
Walking across the hallway, I talk to my mom for a bit. Talk about what type of fish you want in your tank. Probably bettas. I tell her I'm working on a project in my room, and not to come in. Wonder what she thinks I'm doing? Probably something I shouldn't. That's OK.
Return to my room, sit down at your desk. Open up your Zune media playah and select your ultimate playlist. Briefly you consider whether or not to listen to favorites only...no, randomnity is the spice of life. Of course you remember that too much spice caused you much pain at supper, and will likely case more later.
Ultimate playlist it is.
First outline what you're planning on. Top of page will say "HAPPY" in those thick letters. Middle will say "Mom", but with a heart in it in place of an O. Below that, a large sized "DAY". Wonder if "HAPPEH" would work? No, it'd likely be badly received.
Hmm...blue on top, middle red, blue bottom. Sounds good. Cut out the letters, and the heart, but use marker for the M's. Blue Happy, Blue Day, red heart. Then sew around the edges to give it a fancy look. Shweet idea. Wonder what I can do for my Dad's birthday?
Focus. Time to measure and cut. In that order. But wait...have to draw carefully so as not to let the pencil lead show. Nice catch.
Oops. One of the blue sides is smaller...that's alright. Just use it at the top.
Carefully glue the red sheet down first. Get the edges, then run some down the middle. OK. Align the edges carefully...bah. slightly off. But better than you'd thought. Next, the blue. Work that glue stick little Jimmy. Make those third graders who really use them proud!
Hmm...still slightly off. Oh well, that's why you didn't go into structural design...yet. But math is not your favorite thing, you love the arts.
Focus...oh! This song is amazing!
If this isn’t love (If this isn’t love)
This is the closest I’ve ever been
Do you think we have a chance tonight?
As streetlights sing on Audrey’s song!
Use the power of the song to complete your art? You. Know. It. Now, focus.
Glue the white sheet on top...nope, need to cut it first. Japanese carvers knife'll work great. Lightly trace the letters with your pencil...good stuff. Try to avoid cutting it twice, because if you don't like it the first time, you definitely won't the second...or something.
Boogers...slipped. ...Doesn't look too bad. Keep cutting, but go slower.
There, "happy" finished. No on to the heart. Flip the page over and trace it on the back. *tracetracetrace*
...schnap. Why is it your hearts always look better on one side than the other. Hmm...perhaps a nice deep thought. Expound on it later, you will, maybe.
CAN YOU NOT FOCUS?!?!
...Sorry. Cut the heart out, then draw the "day" extra big. Done. That came out nicely. Keep the extra pieces to glue back in place for the letters with hole's. Glue the white piece on top with care. Slide the glue stick around the edges, and the middle...oops. Will the heart now have glue upon it?
Is that...yes, that song too, rocks. Take a moment to pay attention.
...
Your black dress in disarray
Only dance floor prayers can save {you}
But it's you that's coursing through my veins
Don't need no drugs, you're my chemical
Now I'm dependent, swear I'm clinical
Addicted to those glances, taking chances tonight
I need a fix in those heroin eyes
Don't need no drugs, you're my chemical
Now I'm dependent, no not cynical
Addicted to those glances, taking chances tonight
I need a fix in those heroin eyes
Now, write out your message on the card. Rather nice, you search the air for another word to add...Screen saver pops up "Strong Beer. Wow this stuff tastes good!" Not a message you'd normally approve of, but it's Strong Bad related. Strong. That'll be great!
Oh schnap. The card was the wrong way when glued. Red paper is poking out at the top of the D.
Take a long pull off the choco milk, sit back and sigh. Can you fix it? Not likely. You'd have to remake the card. Marker? No...best hope no one notices. Can't make anything perfect anyway. Out of your grasp. Even on Guitar Hero the meter rarely hit's 100%.
Now you have to sew. The small needle nearly bends when pushed through the paper, the thread is too thick to go on it anyway, being red cotton yarn. The knife will cut holes then you'll push the ribbon needle through. Do a looped stitch for fanciness.
Drill holes with the knife, sew it up. Sew around the heart too. Doing patternized stitches in the bottom and the top. There...looks nice. Aside from the mistakes.
Open the door and look outside. Mum's in bed. Walk downstairs, lay the card against the lamp. Nope, forgot your signature. Run back up the stairs, grab a guitar pick...a red one. It's one of your favorites, but you like it that way. Adding the guitar pick makes it apparent that not only have you spent time on the home made card, you've also put something you love into it. Or so you think. No need to sign your name either, or get yelled at for not signing it. Glue stick makes it's way into your pocket leaving the room.
Grab the card as you pass the lamp, flip it, glue it, and stick the pick in the middle of the heart on the back. Carefully set it down, pick side up. ...Hope mom likes it.
So that's how I maded my Mummy a card. <3
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
The Return of the King.
OK. So here's an awesome story:
A king, from ancient lineage, springs up from nowhere. For years, he had been protecting and defending his kingdom in secret, and as such, was older than most. His coming had been told among stories for years by those who knew them, but few people believed in the olden stories anymore.
Then "BAM!", out of legend, he springs to life.
Bearing an ancient sword once broken, but now remade, he comes from out of the shadows to strive for mastery. Wielding shining blade, and commanding an army of the dead, he goes to war with the kingdom of darkness. Eventually, he wins, and welcomes a new kingdom of prosperity and joy. <3
Pretty cool, huh? It's one of my favorites. Gives you that "epic" feel. And it's familiar to you, I'm sure. Actually...I pulled that straight from...Revelation?!
OK. So some of that was from other parts of the bible too. And I did my best to make it sound like Tolkien. Because he allegoried'd it in a manner so fine.
But it's surprising to me how many people scream the apocalypse is coming, spread fear, and yet miss the entire point. Then again, I live amongst Baptists. :D
Revelation isn't literature about the apocalypse; it's the story of the culmination of a story. The final chapter of the greatest story ever told, in other words. And it doesn't end in flame and brimstone, as so many seem to infer. It ends in shining light, glory abounding, and stuff I can't even wrap my mind around. A fairytale ending. How great is that?
True, death will abound. It's the King fighting for His kingdom, after all. Enemies won't be left alive to regain strength; they're to be destroyed. Forever. And calamities that, at times, strike fear into my heart will break fourth from the vials of God's wrath and be poured onto this planet. Scary.
But those throughout history who have given their lives for Christ, those who have loved Him, those who choose to make an enemy of this world, those who serve the King, will rise and live forever in joy. That "army of the dead" I was talking aboot.
Which is dirty EPIC. XD
I wonder if I'll have died by then...I dunno. Maybe not. Don't think it matters. Either way, I expect it'll blow my mind. The herald of the King will shout, sound a note that will speak to all hearts, either with joy or terror, and those who serve will rise form the grave to kneel at the feet of the Forever King.
Best ending ever? Oh yes, I think so. Even the music is taken care of!
So here's to getting a clear understanding of Revelation. And looking forward to the battle of Armageddon. That may just be me, though...The idea of being an undead warrior has always appealed to me, even though it'll only be for a short time. An undead servant of the King is just as good.
A king, from ancient lineage, springs up from nowhere. For years, he had been protecting and defending his kingdom in secret, and as such, was older than most. His coming had been told among stories for years by those who knew them, but few people believed in the olden stories anymore.
Then "BAM!", out of legend, he springs to life.
Bearing an ancient sword once broken, but now remade, he comes from out of the shadows to strive for mastery. Wielding shining blade, and commanding an army of the dead, he goes to war with the kingdom of darkness. Eventually, he wins, and welcomes a new kingdom of prosperity and joy. <3
Pretty cool, huh? It's one of my favorites. Gives you that "epic" feel. And it's familiar to you, I'm sure. Actually...I pulled that straight from...Revelation?!
OK. So some of that was from other parts of the bible too. And I did my best to make it sound like Tolkien. Because he allegoried'd it in a manner so fine.
But it's surprising to me how many people scream the apocalypse is coming, spread fear, and yet miss the entire point. Then again, I live amongst Baptists. :D
Revelation isn't literature about the apocalypse; it's the story of the culmination of a story. The final chapter of the greatest story ever told, in other words. And it doesn't end in flame and brimstone, as so many seem to infer. It ends in shining light, glory abounding, and stuff I can't even wrap my mind around. A fairytale ending. How great is that?
True, death will abound. It's the King fighting for His kingdom, after all. Enemies won't be left alive to regain strength; they're to be destroyed. Forever. And calamities that, at times, strike fear into my heart will break fourth from the vials of God's wrath and be poured onto this planet. Scary.
But those throughout history who have given their lives for Christ, those who have loved Him, those who choose to make an enemy of this world, those who serve the King, will rise and live forever in joy. That "army of the dead" I was talking aboot.
Which is dirty EPIC. XD
I wonder if I'll have died by then...I dunno. Maybe not. Don't think it matters. Either way, I expect it'll blow my mind. The herald of the King will shout, sound a note that will speak to all hearts, either with joy or terror, and those who serve will rise form the grave to kneel at the feet of the Forever King.
Best ending ever? Oh yes, I think so. Even the music is taken care of!
So here's to getting a clear understanding of Revelation. And looking forward to the battle of Armageddon. That may just be me, though...The idea of being an undead warrior has always appealed to me, even though it'll only be for a short time. An undead servant of the King is just as good.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Wonderful oddities.
Sometimes, I can't help but laugh out of joy. The mind blowing wonders and works of God.
How wonderful is it that in letting Himself be struck down by evil, my King slashed so great a wound into its heart, that it will never recover?
That the perfect Son, Heir to the throne of the ages, took the punishment for the beggars sins?
The fact that the Ultimate Power and Authority in any universe is crushed when His nation turns it's back on Him? (Ezekiel 6:9, for the reference.)
Every drop of blood spilled on that cross should have been mine. Every scream of pain is what I deserved. Yet out of love, He took my place.
How wonderful is it that in letting Himself be struck down by evil, my King slashed so great a wound into its heart, that it will never recover?
That the perfect Son, Heir to the throne of the ages, took the punishment for the beggars sins?
The fact that the Ultimate Power and Authority in any universe is crushed when His nation turns it's back on Him? (Ezekiel 6:9, for the reference.)
Every drop of blood spilled on that cross should have been mine. Every scream of pain is what I deserved. Yet out of love, He took my place.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
It's been like...16 days, man.
Long time. And sadly, I really have nothing good to say even now. I mean, I had an epiphany of sorts last week...but that's normal. Lot's to learn, and all. It'd be odd not to have one.
I did learn how to make yo-yo strings using Youtube. And consequentially, hurt my arm yo-yo-ing. Good times.
Is there a hyphen in yo-yo?
I also started rewriting some of my musical stuff (AKA: Those songs I mentioned way back in my first post), and stumbled upon my rock opera. Which isn't bad, but I've only got one part finished. I've added music to two of my songs now. ^_^ Which brings my two year total to...three. Wow. Industrious. But one of those I am badly ashamed of. It needs be rewritten or burninated now.
I also discovered that, once upon a time, I wrote some political songs. Yeah, I know. So original. But one of those is actually funny. I can say with pride that it's better than those chain e-mails you get. Or I get. I hope I'm not the only one getting those...but my family does love politics. Pleh. Anyway, the song is funny. Though it does insult only one particular politician, and not all of them, which I think is necessary.
I figure that places me amongst the anarchists, or emo kids. I'm cool with that. Though I don't wear make-up. Yet.
Must've been written during election season, though...I got sick of politicians and their annoyingly rabid followers quite rapidly during, and after that horrid time. Normally, the "I hate politics" feeling, makes people pull that nose-in-the-air "I'm too good for this politik" card, and rail against those who do care. Making them seem just as bad.
Not me. Instead of pulling the politically apathetic (EP) card, I pulled another card from the deck of emotion. The "Wow. I'm so sick of this, I think I'd rather swallow my own chilled vomit than listen to you, vote for you, or support anyone by the name of politician" card currently resides up my sleeve.
And barf is one thing...chilled barf is another. Just the thought makes me nauseated.
Perhaps I'll put up one of those songs on here. Nothing get's people more riled up than insulting their politician of choice.
Or, in other words, "Nothing get's people more upset than insulting some corrupt dude with a power complex whom they've never met, and likely never will meet, and who they place hopes and dreams upon which said human can never fulfill, and so failure is imminent".
I...don't understand politics...The worse part is, since they will fail, WHINING is also imminent. Pleh, X2.
I do know that it's easy to build people into a rage using politics though. And that information is so fun to have in my pocket.
I did learn how to make yo-yo strings using Youtube. And consequentially, hurt my arm yo-yo-ing. Good times.
Is there a hyphen in yo-yo?
I also started rewriting some of my musical stuff (AKA: Those songs I mentioned way back in my first post), and stumbled upon my rock opera. Which isn't bad, but I've only got one part finished. I've added music to two of my songs now. ^_^ Which brings my two year total to...three. Wow. Industrious. But one of those I am badly ashamed of. It needs be rewritten or burninated now.
I also discovered that, once upon a time, I wrote some political songs. Yeah, I know. So original. But one of those is actually funny. I can say with pride that it's better than those chain e-mails you get. Or I get. I hope I'm not the only one getting those...but my family does love politics. Pleh. Anyway, the song is funny. Though it does insult only one particular politician, and not all of them, which I think is necessary.
I figure that places me amongst the anarchists, or emo kids. I'm cool with that. Though I don't wear make-up. Yet.
Must've been written during election season, though...I got sick of politicians and their annoyingly rabid followers quite rapidly during, and after that horrid time. Normally, the "I hate politics" feeling, makes people pull that nose-in-the-air "I'm too good for this politik" card, and rail against those who do care. Making them seem just as bad.
Not me. Instead of pulling the politically apathetic (EP) card, I pulled another card from the deck of emotion. The "Wow. I'm so sick of this, I think I'd rather swallow my own chilled vomit than listen to you, vote for you, or support anyone by the name of politician" card currently resides up my sleeve.
And barf is one thing...chilled barf is another. Just the thought makes me nauseated.
Perhaps I'll put up one of those songs on here. Nothing get's people more riled up than insulting their politician of choice.
Or, in other words, "Nothing get's people more upset than insulting some corrupt dude with a power complex whom they've never met, and likely never will meet, and who they place hopes and dreams upon which said human can never fulfill, and so failure is imminent".
I...don't understand politics...The worse part is, since they will fail, WHINING is also imminent. Pleh, X2.
I do know that it's easy to build people into a rage using politics though. And that information is so fun to have in my pocket.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Agitar bein!
Words of advice to follow all your life.
It's the Spanish words under "shake well" on my juice box. I'm assuming it means something similar, though who honestly knows? I often wonder if it says something else...
Yes. I'm drinking a juice box. Or carton. 64 ounces of allegedly passion fruit flavored juice. One wonders who I, inept at love, can so enjoy something called "passion fruit". Not that passion=love. It was just a joke.
Love would be a good thing to post on sometime. But I'll leave that hanging in the air in some ominous fashion. Sword of Damocles, and all.
This post is shaping up to be something seemingly written under the influence of something. I promise I'm not. It's not even the weekend.
Can someone explain to me how I can continue to enjoy a game that literally terrifies me? We're not talking weeping on the floor for my mommy terror, more "wake up screaming in terror", terror. It's caused dreams that woke me up in fear, only unable to go back to sleep.
And yet I like it. The Resident evil games have given me dreams, but honestly, waking up inside a monster filled mansion or mall of terror is a dream, not a nightmare. Many other "nightmare" monsters have appeared in my dreams, and except for a zombie cat, I enjoyed all of them.
I will not speak to you of the zombie cat.
Once, I was Leon Kennedy fighting of one of those giant monsters in RE4 with only a knife. That was cool. Gordon Freemen vs headcrab zombies? Equally cool. Trapped inside of a mall with flaming explosions and a zombie horde? Coolness over 9...nevermind.
But this particular game is none of those. And, oddly, I've never even seen that zombie movie with the mall.
The idea of being trapped underground with unknown horror's, no weapons, and pitch darkness is frightening enough. But add my twisted mind + sugar + whatever weird junk I ate before bed = nightmares that were mind numbingly terrifying.
On the mirror side of things, even the best dream is far more terrifying than any nightmare I've ever had.
The game would be the Penumbra series, and for the record, they're only freakish. All fear inspired thus is from my own dreams.
I recommend the games. Try the demo.
It's the Spanish words under "shake well" on my juice box. I'm assuming it means something similar, though who honestly knows? I often wonder if it says something else...
Yes. I'm drinking a juice box. Or carton. 64 ounces of allegedly passion fruit flavored juice. One wonders who I, inept at love, can so enjoy something called "passion fruit". Not that passion=love. It was just a joke.
Love would be a good thing to post on sometime. But I'll leave that hanging in the air in some ominous fashion. Sword of Damocles, and all.
This post is shaping up to be something seemingly written under the influence of something. I promise I'm not. It's not even the weekend.
Can someone explain to me how I can continue to enjoy a game that literally terrifies me? We're not talking weeping on the floor for my mommy terror, more "wake up screaming in terror", terror. It's caused dreams that woke me up in fear, only unable to go back to sleep.
And yet I like it. The Resident evil games have given me dreams, but honestly, waking up inside a monster filled mansion or mall of terror is a dream, not a nightmare. Many other "nightmare" monsters have appeared in my dreams, and except for a zombie cat, I enjoyed all of them.
I will not speak to you of the zombie cat.
Once, I was Leon Kennedy fighting of one of those giant monsters in RE4 with only a knife. That was cool. Gordon Freemen vs headcrab zombies? Equally cool. Trapped inside of a mall with flaming explosions and a zombie horde? Coolness over 9...nevermind.
But this particular game is none of those. And, oddly, I've never even seen that zombie movie with the mall.
The idea of being trapped underground with unknown horror's, no weapons, and pitch darkness is frightening enough. But add my twisted mind + sugar + whatever weird junk I ate before bed = nightmares that were mind numbingly terrifying.
On the mirror side of things, even the best dream is far more terrifying than any nightmare I've ever had.
The game would be the Penumbra series, and for the record, they're only freakish. All fear inspired thus is from my own dreams.
I recommend the games. Try the demo.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Quid est veritas?
That question was once asked to a man who absolutely knew the answer. The one who asked used it as a rhetorical dig as he left the room, however. Romans. What can you do?
Been thinking though, and so I wonder; what is truth?
To a Christian, the answer is plainly spelled out. Jesus said "I am the Way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6).
So yeah. What's Truth? Dictionary.com defines it as:
1.the true or actual state of a matter: He tried to find out the truth.
2.conformity with fact or reality; verity: the truth of a statement.
3.a verified or indisputable fact, proposition, principle, or the like: mathematical truths.
4.the state or character of being true.
5.actuality or actual existence.
6.an obvious or accepted fact; truism; platitude.
7.honesty; integrity; truthfulness.
8.(often initial capital letter) ideal or fundamental reality apart from and transcending perceived experience: the basic truths of life.
9.agreement with a standard or original.
10.accuracy, as of position or adjustment.
11.Archaic. fidelity or constancy.
Truth then, is a fairly simple concept. It is, what is. God's word=truth. The existence of the planet you're standing on=truth.
Why then, is their a debate on what truth is? Watch your TV, or read the paper. You'll see countless people trying to push the idea that truth is up to the person. Any truth that limit's is simply corrupt people forcing their idea's onto you. My truth is different, but not better, than your truth, and forcing a certain truth upon someone is wrong. Or even better, that truth can be created by science.
In my thinking, it's a rejection of authority. To admit to there being a truth that is true for all people, you have to admit that someone higher than yourself set down that truth. There is some evidence in the book of Truth:
"All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all" (Isaiah 56:3).
And in Timothy "For the time will come when they will not tolerate sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, will accumulate teachers for themselves because they have an itch to hear something new" (4:3).
Supposedly, removing all rocks from the path (but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to the Jews and foolishness to the Gentiles.), will allow world peace will come. Removing religion, all encompassing truth, and letting each person decide what is right for them, means no conflict. No conflict means no wars, no wars means no big guns and food that lasts forever on the shelves. Humanity can throw off stuffy, dogmatic, ideas and move on to a bright future.
And it may so, for a time. Lack of conflict may drive everyone into sleep, but it would also stop fighting. If everyone could accept each other, there would be no hatred.
But that ideology denies a simple fact: Humanity itself. There can be no rules if truth is up to each person; what you see as speeding, I see as simply getting there faster. Stealing is borrowing, and jaywalking is exercising my free will over the puny little light that attempts to rule me.
On the plus side, school get's easier because there's no way to fail a test. Drivers licenses are handed out to four year old's, and I can legally carry lock picks around. No wrong means breaking into McDonalds and borrowing all their chicken sammiches is only the way I choose to feed myself.
But if there is no rules, what is to stop worse things from happening? The concept of relativism and self truth relies on the idea that humanity itself is good...
And what if I decided my truth was best? Place three people in a room, each has their own truth, their own version of how they see reality. One is a scientist, one is a stock boy, and the third is a boxer. They each discuss how they see the world, and everything is fine. No reason to move backward and start arguing.
Until, that is, the boxer realizes his truth is the best, and really should be the one everyone follows. He could easily enforce this revelation. So he tells the other two, and they disagree. So the boxer decks the scientist across the face, and asks him to reconsider. Suddenly, his truth isn't seeming that bad after all.
So then, if someone has the muscle, they can define truth in a world without it. One force determines truth strictly by that force, to deny it is to be placed in pain. This is not--blessedly and with much thanks to Him--how God operates. He certainly has the muscle, but He instead chose to let us act how we want, giving His only Son as His own act--one of love.
Simple: just create a police force ensuring that no person is denied the right to their own truth, so the above scenario never happens. But that would require forcing a version of truth upon someone they may not agree with, and who controls them? There is no end to this chain.
Truth, the stuff from God, is a regulator. A fence, not keeping us locked inside, but keeping evil locked out. If, that is, we choose to follow and apply it to our lives. It can stare us in the face forever, but unless we open the door, it won't come in. God's not going to beat us over the head with a brick.
And the oddest thing is, the truth is a rock solid foundation, an unchangeable something, set down before time began, and unchanged since then... And yet still "Veritas vos liberabit". The truth will set you free. It unchains us, not ties us down.
To a Christian, the truth is especially important. Relativism has no place in us. It's part of the armor of God. Not only a part, but the part the brings everything together. The belt of truth (Stand, therefore, with truth like a belt around your waist, righteousness like armor on your chest" Eph. 6: 14). Meaning, if you leave truth behind, you're likely going to lose your pants at sometime during the battle.
Not only that, but sword's tend to hang off a belt. And the sword, in this case, is the Sword of the Spirit. Leave your belt behind, and not only with the metal mini skirt (Romans wore it in battle...I don't know why) drop, you won't have a weapon.
Standing pantless and weaponless on the spiritual field of battle...what a way to go.
Not that I'm claiming to know only truth, and that you should listen to me to find it. Jesus is the Truth, not me. Listen to Him. I'm totally fallible.
So what is truth? Necessary, for one thing. God sent, for another. And in the end, unchangeable. Defining my own truth doesn't change what the truth is. It's always there, the foundation of society, humanity, ETC. We can try to bury it, forget about it, or deny it's existence. But sometimes, you have to climb the mountain before you can see how big it is.
Been thinking though, and so I wonder; what is truth?
To a Christian, the answer is plainly spelled out. Jesus said "I am the Way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6).
So yeah. What's Truth? Dictionary.com defines it as:
1.the true or actual state of a matter: He tried to find out the truth.
2.conformity with fact or reality; verity: the truth of a statement.
3.a verified or indisputable fact, proposition, principle, or the like: mathematical truths.
4.the state or character of being true.
5.actuality or actual existence.
6.an obvious or accepted fact; truism; platitude.
7.honesty; integrity; truthfulness.
8.(often initial capital letter) ideal or fundamental reality apart from and transcending perceived experience: the basic truths of life.
9.agreement with a standard or original.
10.accuracy, as of position or adjustment.
11.Archaic. fidelity or constancy.
Truth then, is a fairly simple concept. It is, what is. God's word=truth. The existence of the planet you're standing on=truth.
Why then, is their a debate on what truth is? Watch your TV, or read the paper. You'll see countless people trying to push the idea that truth is up to the person. Any truth that limit's is simply corrupt people forcing their idea's onto you. My truth is different, but not better, than your truth, and forcing a certain truth upon someone is wrong. Or even better, that truth can be created by science.
In my thinking, it's a rejection of authority. To admit to there being a truth that is true for all people, you have to admit that someone higher than yourself set down that truth. There is some evidence in the book of Truth:
"All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all" (Isaiah 56:3).
And in Timothy "For the time will come when they will not tolerate sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, will accumulate teachers for themselves because they have an itch to hear something new" (4:3).
Supposedly, removing all rocks from the path (but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to the Jews and foolishness to the Gentiles.), will allow world peace will come. Removing religion, all encompassing truth, and letting each person decide what is right for them, means no conflict. No conflict means no wars, no wars means no big guns and food that lasts forever on the shelves. Humanity can throw off stuffy, dogmatic, ideas and move on to a bright future.
And it may so, for a time. Lack of conflict may drive everyone into sleep, but it would also stop fighting. If everyone could accept each other, there would be no hatred.
But that ideology denies a simple fact: Humanity itself. There can be no rules if truth is up to each person; what you see as speeding, I see as simply getting there faster. Stealing is borrowing, and jaywalking is exercising my free will over the puny little light that attempts to rule me.
On the plus side, school get's easier because there's no way to fail a test. Drivers licenses are handed out to four year old's, and I can legally carry lock picks around. No wrong means breaking into McDonalds and borrowing all their chicken sammiches is only the way I choose to feed myself.
But if there is no rules, what is to stop worse things from happening? The concept of relativism and self truth relies on the idea that humanity itself is good...
And what if I decided my truth was best? Place three people in a room, each has their own truth, their own version of how they see reality. One is a scientist, one is a stock boy, and the third is a boxer. They each discuss how they see the world, and everything is fine. No reason to move backward and start arguing.
Until, that is, the boxer realizes his truth is the best, and really should be the one everyone follows. He could easily enforce this revelation. So he tells the other two, and they disagree. So the boxer decks the scientist across the face, and asks him to reconsider. Suddenly, his truth isn't seeming that bad after all.
So then, if someone has the muscle, they can define truth in a world without it. One force determines truth strictly by that force, to deny it is to be placed in pain. This is not--blessedly and with much thanks to Him--how God operates. He certainly has the muscle, but He instead chose to let us act how we want, giving His only Son as His own act--one of love.
Simple: just create a police force ensuring that no person is denied the right to their own truth, so the above scenario never happens. But that would require forcing a version of truth upon someone they may not agree with, and who controls them? There is no end to this chain.
Truth, the stuff from God, is a regulator. A fence, not keeping us locked inside, but keeping evil locked out. If, that is, we choose to follow and apply it to our lives. It can stare us in the face forever, but unless we open the door, it won't come in. God's not going to beat us over the head with a brick.
And the oddest thing is, the truth is a rock solid foundation, an unchangeable something, set down before time began, and unchanged since then... And yet still "Veritas vos liberabit". The truth will set you free. It unchains us, not ties us down.
To a Christian, the truth is especially important. Relativism has no place in us. It's part of the armor of God. Not only a part, but the part the brings everything together. The belt of truth (Stand, therefore, with truth like a belt around your waist, righteousness like armor on your chest" Eph. 6: 14). Meaning, if you leave truth behind, you're likely going to lose your pants at sometime during the battle.
Not only that, but sword's tend to hang off a belt. And the sword, in this case, is the Sword of the Spirit. Leave your belt behind, and not only with the metal mini skirt (Romans wore it in battle...I don't know why) drop, you won't have a weapon.
Standing pantless and weaponless on the spiritual field of battle...what a way to go.
Not that I'm claiming to know only truth, and that you should listen to me to find it. Jesus is the Truth, not me. Listen to Him. I'm totally fallible.
So what is truth? Necessary, for one thing. God sent, for another. And in the end, unchangeable. Defining my own truth doesn't change what the truth is. It's always there, the foundation of society, humanity, ETC. We can try to bury it, forget about it, or deny it's existence. But sometimes, you have to climb the mountain before you can see how big it is.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
The sun still burns the shadows out.
I realized something odd yesterday. Something keeps changing inside of me. And since I haven't been near any alien species recently, I have to assume it's part of who I am.
What caused this introspection was simple. I'd been planning to get Star Wars: The Force unleashed with my money, but we ended up stopping by a Christian bookstore. And they had Relient K's "Forget and Not slow down" on sale for $10...I paused and thought it over. And it wasn't actually all that hard of a choice. I bought the CD (and highly recommend it, by the way).
What's weird?
For the past 10 years, much of my money has gone toward the purchase of a game. And when it came up game vs Cd, the game was found lacking.
Weiiiiiiiiiiiiird.
There are several things to infer from this. But I'm keeping that secret to my own mentality.
What caused this introspection was simple. I'd been planning to get Star Wars: The Force unleashed with my money, but we ended up stopping by a Christian bookstore. And they had Relient K's "Forget and Not slow down" on sale for $10...I paused and thought it over. And it wasn't actually all that hard of a choice. I bought the CD (and highly recommend it, by the way).
What's weird?
For the past 10 years, much of my money has gone toward the purchase of a game. And when it came up game vs Cd, the game was found lacking.
Weiiiiiiiiiiiiird.
There are several things to infer from this. But I'm keeping that secret to my own mentality.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
The return of the Jed.
I'm not cool enough to be a Jedi. So Jed will have to do. I am back, though. I guess I could have pilfered a computer in OKC, but how would that have worked out in any sorta good fashion?
Point is, I'm sitting in my busted up, slanted to several sides, computer chair. Posting off a ten year old PC. My mattress has springs jutting out of it, and one of my hamsters turned out to be a female. Surprise! I'm a granddaddy at all of 19.
And you know what? I'm loving every minute of it! I love my home, my room, my family, ETC. It's all good.
So that got me thinking (and wondering who wants a hamster?) what exactly is home? It's certainly not the place where I'm in the plushest surroundings, as the hotel was quite nice.
It's not where my heart is, either. Or I'd be living at EBgames. I'm rather sad to say that, as with the many things worth loving in this world, I chose video games. Is it where I'm most familiar with things? Possibly. I do love my chair, my bed and my room with all their flaws. It's my crystal fortress of solitude.
Is it where my family is? That's closest to the mark. I was welcomed home with open arms, and face licks from my dogs. And that felt good.
But I realized...I have no home. Not on this planet. It hit me while I was driving cross state, on the way home: this world is little more than a journey, a long drive to home. Any home in this place is little more than a hostel, or perhaps that lovely bed and breakfast that stirs warm sickly feelings in your heart.
"In my Fathers house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."
"You know the way to the place where I am going."
Home.
Point is, I'm sitting in my busted up, slanted to several sides, computer chair. Posting off a ten year old PC. My mattress has springs jutting out of it, and one of my hamsters turned out to be a female. Surprise! I'm a granddaddy at all of 19.
And you know what? I'm loving every minute of it! I love my home, my room, my family, ETC. It's all good.
So that got me thinking (and wondering who wants a hamster?) what exactly is home? It's certainly not the place where I'm in the plushest surroundings, as the hotel was quite nice.
It's not where my heart is, either. Or I'd be living at EBgames. I'm rather sad to say that, as with the many things worth loving in this world, I chose video games. Is it where I'm most familiar with things? Possibly. I do love my chair, my bed and my room with all their flaws. It's my crystal fortress of solitude.
Is it where my family is? That's closest to the mark. I was welcomed home with open arms, and face licks from my dogs. And that felt good.
But I realized...I have no home. Not on this planet. It hit me while I was driving cross state, on the way home: this world is little more than a journey, a long drive to home. Any home in this place is little more than a hostel, or perhaps that lovely bed and breakfast that stirs warm sickly feelings in your heart.
"In my Fathers house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."
"You know the way to the place where I am going."
Home.
Monday, March 15, 2010
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...
...Klahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plains.
I forgot the rest. Point is, I'm heading to OK for the next while or so. I don't know when I'll be back again...which adds to the excitement.
Soo...in my absence, listen to many great and epic songs.
I forgot the rest. Point is, I'm heading to OK for the next while or so. I don't know when I'll be back again...which adds to the excitement.
Soo...in my absence, listen to many great and epic songs.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Cryptic, and encrypted.
I must've made that last post after eating a pound of sugar or something...but it had a point. I still fear revealing it though...getting laughed at, or stared at never bothered me on the surface. But I do feel things. I guess.
I'm walking a way I never thought, though. And it's hard learning. Yesterday I learned a lesson that I know will be invaluable, but it was freaky, and the costs could have been immeasurable.
I also got an epic hamster cage, though. One of those ones with the plastic tubing. Good stuff.
The wind is changing too. Spring is supposedly 12 days away, but my senses tell me otherwise. To put it poetically, my heart attunes with the flowers. I know when they live.
Dangerous time of year, Spring.
I'm walking a way I never thought, though. And it's hard learning. Yesterday I learned a lesson that I know will be invaluable, but it was freaky, and the costs could have been immeasurable.
I also got an epic hamster cage, though. One of those ones with the plastic tubing. Good stuff.
The wind is changing too. Spring is supposedly 12 days away, but my senses tell me otherwise. To put it poetically, my heart attunes with the flowers. I know when they live.
Dangerous time of year, Spring.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Knock me down and I'll get up again.
With a mighty swing of the ultimate hammer of vengeance.
Or something.
It's possible I'll just get up with a wet noodle and slap somebody with it. It's demeaning.
All these reckless nights have left me spinning out of control. Is there not a cure for sorrow? All these fading lights, have let me search for something more. Will there be a new tomorrow?
Yes. I've been called. I've answered. A new path, unplanned, has come into my sight. The first steps are still invisible, but I can clearly hear the voice calling. He will lead, and I will stumble along behind Him, knowing that only in my death can life truly be complete.
The season has changed. The wind, it blows...colder now. The rain...it falls harder now, all around. Through the cold, life now begins, all around.
Now I'm waiting for the breakdown.
Or something.
It's possible I'll just get up with a wet noodle and slap somebody with it. It's demeaning.
All these reckless nights have left me spinning out of control. Is there not a cure for sorrow? All these fading lights, have let me search for something more. Will there be a new tomorrow?
Yes. I've been called. I've answered. A new path, unplanned, has come into my sight. The first steps are still invisible, but I can clearly hear the voice calling. He will lead, and I will stumble along behind Him, knowing that only in my death can life truly be complete.
The season has changed. The wind, it blows...colder now. The rain...it falls harder now, all around. Through the cold, life now begins, all around.
Now I'm waiting for the breakdown.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
The forgotten one...
Somewhere along the line, someone is always forgotten. In this case, it's...
NOT ME!!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!
You thought I was going to give the predictable response, no? No.
The forgotten One in this case, is God. For some reasons, society tries it's hardest to forget the One who literally gave His all for their salvation. Not just His only Son in order to adopt us, but by the fact Jesus was God, He gave his own life as well.
And yet we try to forget. Or slander Him in such a way as to make Him look evil.
So let's add in another forgotten one: Man. Humanity in general. In example, listen to Theater of Tragedy's "And when he falleth". Vincent Price gives a nice narration on the evils of the world, and how if such a good God existed, he must have disappeared long ago. Because what good God could exist and have the world in the state it's in?
Too, Muse. Knights of Cydonia. Another epic song. To quote "Come ride with me, through the veins of history, I'll show you a God who falls asleep on the job."
Forgetting that it was us who chose to deny God and broke His commands. Forgetting that it's us who choose to start wars, murder others, and generally create thee world in the state it's in. He gave us free will. This is what we've done with it.
Unless we wanted a God who lords over every move we make, smiting the first time we stepped out of line? Because I think God get's called a tyrant or some variant thereof enough for having set the 10 commandments in order.
It's the equivalent of an innocent man paying the fines, and changing places in jail for a murderer, only to have the murderer spit in his face as he walked away free.
I guess it's a pet peeve of mine. I know only a little bit of what God has done for me, and does for me and this entire planet on a daily routine, and it blows my mind. And to have someone claim God isn't doing His job right, or that He doesn't exist at all...I don't get it. Partially.
Not that I'm complaining only against others. I'm in the same boat. I know for sure God exists, and part of what He has done for me. But I don't always act like it, and that may be worse. I could try my best to stop wars, murders and generally fix the world...but I don't. I could tell others of the wonders of His love, but I don't. Or haven't yet. Fear overcomes me.
So I'll close this post with another song or two:
"Would my care increase if I truly believed that a life could be saved?"
And:
"An image flashed across my tv screen. Another broken heart comes in to view. I saw the pain and I turned my back. Why can't I do the things I want to? I'm willing, yet I'm so afraid. You give me strength, When I say: I want to be your hands, I want to be your feet, I'll go where you send me."
Perhaps when people can't see God doing His job, it's because I'm not doing mine.
NOT ME!!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!
You thought I was going to give the predictable response, no? No.
The forgotten One in this case, is God. For some reasons, society tries it's hardest to forget the One who literally gave His all for their salvation. Not just His only Son in order to adopt us, but by the fact Jesus was God, He gave his own life as well.
And yet we try to forget. Or slander Him in such a way as to make Him look evil.
So let's add in another forgotten one: Man. Humanity in general. In example, listen to Theater of Tragedy's "And when he falleth". Vincent Price gives a nice narration on the evils of the world, and how if such a good God existed, he must have disappeared long ago. Because what good God could exist and have the world in the state it's in?
Too, Muse. Knights of Cydonia. Another epic song. To quote "Come ride with me, through the veins of history, I'll show you a God who falls asleep on the job."
Forgetting that it was us who chose to deny God and broke His commands. Forgetting that it's us who choose to start wars, murder others, and generally create thee world in the state it's in. He gave us free will. This is what we've done with it.
Unless we wanted a God who lords over every move we make, smiting the first time we stepped out of line? Because I think God get's called a tyrant or some variant thereof enough for having set the 10 commandments in order.
It's the equivalent of an innocent man paying the fines, and changing places in jail for a murderer, only to have the murderer spit in his face as he walked away free.
I guess it's a pet peeve of mine. I know only a little bit of what God has done for me, and does for me and this entire planet on a daily routine, and it blows my mind. And to have someone claim God isn't doing His job right, or that He doesn't exist at all...I don't get it. Partially.
Not that I'm complaining only against others. I'm in the same boat. I know for sure God exists, and part of what He has done for me. But I don't always act like it, and that may be worse. I could try my best to stop wars, murders and generally fix the world...but I don't. I could tell others of the wonders of His love, but I don't. Or haven't yet. Fear overcomes me.
So I'll close this post with another song or two:
"Would my care increase if I truly believed that a life could be saved?"
And:
"An image flashed across my tv screen. Another broken heart comes in to view. I saw the pain and I turned my back. Why can't I do the things I want to? I'm willing, yet I'm so afraid. You give me strength, When I say: I want to be your hands, I want to be your feet, I'll go where you send me."
Perhaps when people can't see God doing His job, it's because I'm not doing mine.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
In the valley of the dying sun...
"...I walk a crooked path alone. I came across the shadow of a man, With an angel's breath. 'O boy' he said to me, I see your future. Though you long for peace...The sword is your father."
No. I didn't write that...but I think it's the perfect description of my life's walk...look up the rest of the song to see that I'm not whining again (the title is...well, the title...By House of Heroes).
Recently, I've adopted two adorable hammies. Dwarf, not Syrian. O_O Named them...Joaquin and Laredo. If you get why I named one of the Hamsters Joaquin without using Google, give yourself a pat on the back. Because you rock. XD
At any rate, once they stop being so freaked out around me, I may try to put some pics on here. I'm kinda afraid to take a picture using flash though. XD
/DrakeandJosh
The point is the song. Lot's changed over the past...not post.
No. I didn't write that...but I think it's the perfect description of my life's walk...look up the rest of the song to see that I'm not whining again (the title is...well, the title...By House of Heroes).
Recently, I've adopted two adorable hammies. Dwarf, not Syrian. O_O Named them...Joaquin and Laredo. If you get why I named one of the Hamsters Joaquin without using Google, give yourself a pat on the back. Because you rock. XD
At any rate, once they stop being so freaked out around me, I may try to put some pics on here. I'm kinda afraid to take a picture using flash though. XD
/DrakeandJosh
The point is the song. Lot's changed over the past...not post.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Not forgotten.
This place isn't dead, just...not cared for, for a bit.
I'm wrestling with whether to get another snake, or something small and fuzzy. See, since I was 10, I've had a dog and a reptile. My Bearded Dragon Aladar lived for 10 years, and then I got Jayne.
Now, earlier this month I was dead set on getting something small and furry. Hampsters, Gerbils, Hedgehogs, or sommat.
Then...a friend showed me a Rosy Boa. And I fell in love. Care is similar to a corn, and it'd be a likely chance I wouldn't need to upgrade my stuff. Just get a heat lamp and some aspen.
Not only that, but a Repticon is coming to a locale that's...local to me. In May. I could likely find a Rosy there.
So I'm torn. I think I'd like Guinea pigs. But I also like Snakes.
This is tearing me in half. Not literally.
I'm wrestling with whether to get another snake, or something small and fuzzy. See, since I was 10, I've had a dog and a reptile. My Bearded Dragon Aladar lived for 10 years, and then I got Jayne.
Now, earlier this month I was dead set on getting something small and furry. Hampsters, Gerbils, Hedgehogs, or sommat.
Then...a friend showed me a Rosy Boa. And I fell in love. Care is similar to a corn, and it'd be a likely chance I wouldn't need to upgrade my stuff. Just get a heat lamp and some aspen.
Not only that, but a Repticon is coming to a locale that's...local to me. In May. I could likely find a Rosy there.
So I'm torn. I think I'd like Guinea pigs. But I also like Snakes.
This is tearing me in half. Not literally.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Loss.
My pet snake, Jayne, died yesterday. I don't know why...it could have been parasites, but I'm afraid it was my fault somehow. Friends and family tell me it wasn't...but they aren't helping. I suppose I'll have to live with it.
He just...stopped eating. I tried to get his cage to the appropriate levels, and succeeded. Finally. Took me awhile. But even after I had it "perfect" he still wouldn't eat.
I'm really sad right now, but I know God will use this. Actually, I know He has in small ways already.
I could pull a number of messages out of this...but I'm just too tired.
He just...stopped eating. I tried to get his cage to the appropriate levels, and succeeded. Finally. Took me awhile. But even after I had it "perfect" he still wouldn't eat.
I'm really sad right now, but I know God will use this. Actually, I know He has in small ways already.
I could pull a number of messages out of this...but I'm just too tired.
Monday, February 1, 2010
My foot...it itches.
I don't know why. A mystery of modern science, such as will never be known the answer to.
I figured I'd talk about another deep subject that I consider highly important in this post...but then I realized no one cares about soda in the way I do.
Probably. The likelihood that I'm the craziest person on earth seems an arrogant thought. Not to mention prideful.
So yeah. I've been 6 days without videro games. Except a game of virtual checkers I played on my Zune whilst the family was watching The Mentalist. Not that I don't like the show, but I really wanted to play a game of checkers. It's a game I've always liked...never play it. XD
So, now that I've (temporarily. Voluntary Ban lifts tomorrow) been without my "thing" for a week, what do I think?
I think I was too dependent on games to add fulfillment in my life. Now that I've been a week without them, I can see that feelings worthlessness or stupidity went away playing them.
Escapism, in a small way. Instead of shoving my problems into the back of my mind while being a virtual hero, I had to think about them. A little, at least. It's not like I went into a full digital retreat. Just replaced my "normal" activities with guitar playing and reading.
I actually kinda like it. I've been a bit more creative, and possibly more intelligent...though my stupidity is something I would blame on myself.
In fact, all of this is. I can't foist my laziness onto video games. I choose to play them, I choose to shove my problems into the dark little corner of my mind (my reasoning ability has been there since childhood).
So what's the point? It's like...putting on sunglasses in a dark room. They obscure your vision, but only because you let them.
So now, videro games have their place in my life. Kinda. I'm looking forward to cracking open FF7 tomorrow. But I definitely have something to think about.
I wonder if I'm an addict? *eye twitch*
I know what (or should I say Who?) should fill my life. I know the only thing that can...But do I really? If I "truly" knew Him, would I want to do anything else but worship Him? Would anything take as much time in my life as my relationship with Him?
Dreams...my life is a dream. I'm slowly realizing it may actually be a nightmare.
Requisite spooky/cliche` ending: checkeroo, little Jimmy.
I figured I'd talk about another deep subject that I consider highly important in this post...but then I realized no one cares about soda in the way I do.
Probably. The likelihood that I'm the craziest person on earth seems an arrogant thought. Not to mention prideful.
So yeah. I've been 6 days without videro games. Except a game of virtual checkers I played on my Zune whilst the family was watching The Mentalist. Not that I don't like the show, but I really wanted to play a game of checkers. It's a game I've always liked...never play it. XD
So, now that I've (temporarily. Voluntary Ban lifts tomorrow) been without my "thing" for a week, what do I think?
I think I was too dependent on games to add fulfillment in my life. Now that I've been a week without them, I can see that feelings worthlessness or stupidity went away playing them.
Escapism, in a small way. Instead of shoving my problems into the back of my mind while being a virtual hero, I had to think about them. A little, at least. It's not like I went into a full digital retreat. Just replaced my "normal" activities with guitar playing and reading.
I actually kinda like it. I've been a bit more creative, and possibly more intelligent...though my stupidity is something I would blame on myself.
In fact, all of this is. I can't foist my laziness onto video games. I choose to play them, I choose to shove my problems into the dark little corner of my mind (my reasoning ability has been there since childhood).
So what's the point? It's like...putting on sunglasses in a dark room. They obscure your vision, but only because you let them.
So now, videro games have their place in my life. Kinda. I'm looking forward to cracking open FF7 tomorrow. But I definitely have something to think about.
I wonder if I'm an addict? *eye twitch*
I know what (or should I say Who?) should fill my life. I know the only thing that can...But do I really? If I "truly" knew Him, would I want to do anything else but worship Him? Would anything take as much time in my life as my relationship with Him?
Dreams...my life is a dream. I'm slowly realizing it may actually be a nightmare.
Requisite spooky/cliche` ending: checkeroo, little Jimmy.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Idle worshipper.
That last sentence of that last post probably left a lasting fear that I would yet again step up to the blogger plate. Well, here I am. :D
Sadly, I'm not all that great at being a Christian. In fact, it was only a few years ago that I realized that I can't "be" a Christian, if that makes sense. If it doesn't, let me clarify:
"For by grace ye are saved through faith and this is not of yourselves. It is the gift of God. Not of works, lest any man should boast."
I'm sure that's not word perfect, but you can look it up in Ephesians 2:8-9. XD
That verse sums it up nicely. This life isn't about being a Christian. Works won't get me anywhere (sadly, I still struggle with this. Even after several years and an entire childhood) they're useful to show faith (as James said), but they won't save me. God already did that. Trying to get "there" myself not only belittles His sacrifice but shows a certain lack of faith. I'm working on it (see? I'm working on it. How funny/ annoying is that?)!
I'm fully convinced that this life is all about a relationship with Christ, and serving Him.
With that laid as a background, let me tell you a little bit about the title. I realized that I was, in fact, setting up my own little God. And if he didn't do what I wanted, I just explained it away.
Here's one way I know this:
"Lord, Please *insert something*, BUT let your will be done."
I wasn't praying that because I wanted God's will to be done. I was leaving him (not Him) a way out in case he didn't do what I wanted. "Well, God didn't get me a car/heal someone/give me wisdom. Guess that wasn't his will."
In the span of things, God will, WILL be done. Time is laid out before Him like a book. So if someone didn't get healed/didn't get a car/whatevs...that was His will. Because what I think isn't always the best option. God has reasons for me not having a car, just as He has reasons for not healing someone. It's a matter of trust. Trusting that God's will is truly best. It's also a matter of respect. God is God. He's infinite, Omniscient, ETC. And as a perfectly holy, always right, infinite being, He has absolute authority to decree what goes on.
He's also infinitely loving...
So you see the problem here. I'm assuming that my best option is THE best option, and using God's will as a way to make a place for the negative option (not healing, not car getting, not wisdom-ing) or in case nothing happens.
It's arrogant, really. I'm a limited being. To put it in a cool way, I'm a piece of light inside a meatbag with a timer attached. Timer goes out, meatbag dies, decays. But the light goes onward. So why should I think that I could have the best option?
I still struggle with this; that death could be God's will. It's hard for me to comprehend that death could be the best option. And so when I pray that someone will be healed, it's with the fear that if God doesn't heal them, death is coming. AKA: God's will is the negative, pain bringing, WORST CASE SCENARIO option.
And this too, shows my lack of faith and totality of fear. After all, Jesus conquered death, didn't He? God did create time, right?
So, am I:
A) Showing a lack of faith (which is what fear is).
B) Asserting my will over God's as best option (arrogance).
C) Leaving God plenty of room to fail, while still having Him exist (doubt.)
D) All of the above.
Yep. Answers D. And that fact shook me when I learned it. Did I really just give GOD a scapegoat? The words "Oh ye of little faith. Why did you doubt?" rang in my head. I had no reason too doubt Him. So why was I? Why was I perpetually giving God room to fail me, instead of just truly praying for His will, and NOT mine be done?
So I'm trying something new. I'm still praying to God to heal people, and that He will bring me a job. But when I say, "Your will be done" I mean just that. "Lord, your holy, perfect, timeless, all knowing, best interest having will be done." Not "Lord, here's what I need, here's what's best. Please do it. But if you don't, that's K' Wasn't Your will. I'll call back later."
Because God always answers prayer. Sometimes it's with a "yes", sometimes a "no". Sometimes a "not now". Or a hundred other replies. He's not a magic 8-ball. :D So when I pray for God's will, I have to place my trust in Him that His will be done, and not mine. Not only that, but that His will is best, and that He will take care of me/you/us. He promised us this. His love, His guidance, His care, His support...if we follow Him, all these things.
This post was rather disjointed, I realize. It's because the topic is rather slippery for me to hold on to. That's partially why I'm writing it down; to REMEMBER.
I've got so much to be taught. It's apparent that going by my own self isn't going to get me very far. XD But that's alright...Because that timer I mentioned? It was set by God. And that place I told you about? Built by a professional carpenter. XD
As usual, drop a comment to comment, correct, call me George, or send me Money from some Prince in Nigeria.
Sadly, I'm not all that great at being a Christian. In fact, it was only a few years ago that I realized that I can't "be" a Christian, if that makes sense. If it doesn't, let me clarify:
"For by grace ye are saved through faith and this is not of yourselves. It is the gift of God. Not of works, lest any man should boast."
I'm sure that's not word perfect, but you can look it up in Ephesians 2:8-9. XD
That verse sums it up nicely. This life isn't about being a Christian. Works won't get me anywhere (sadly, I still struggle with this. Even after several years and an entire childhood) they're useful to show faith (as James said), but they won't save me. God already did that. Trying to get "there" myself not only belittles His sacrifice but shows a certain lack of faith. I'm working on it (see? I'm working on it. How funny/ annoying is that?)!
I'm fully convinced that this life is all about a relationship with Christ, and serving Him.
With that laid as a background, let me tell you a little bit about the title. I realized that I was, in fact, setting up my own little God. And if he didn't do what I wanted, I just explained it away.
Here's one way I know this:
"Lord, Please *insert something*, BUT let your will be done."
I wasn't praying that because I wanted God's will to be done. I was leaving him (not Him) a way out in case he didn't do what I wanted. "Well, God didn't get me a car/heal someone/give me wisdom. Guess that wasn't his will."
In the span of things, God will, WILL be done. Time is laid out before Him like a book. So if someone didn't get healed/didn't get a car/whatevs...that was His will. Because what I think isn't always the best option. God has reasons for me not having a car, just as He has reasons for not healing someone. It's a matter of trust. Trusting that God's will is truly best. It's also a matter of respect. God is God. He's infinite, Omniscient, ETC. And as a perfectly holy, always right, infinite being, He has absolute authority to decree what goes on.
He's also infinitely loving...
So you see the problem here. I'm assuming that my best option is THE best option, and using God's will as a way to make a place for the negative option (not healing, not car getting, not wisdom-ing) or in case nothing happens.
It's arrogant, really. I'm a limited being. To put it in a cool way, I'm a piece of light inside a meatbag with a timer attached. Timer goes out, meatbag dies, decays. But the light goes onward. So why should I think that I could have the best option?
I still struggle with this; that death could be God's will. It's hard for me to comprehend that death could be the best option. And so when I pray that someone will be healed, it's with the fear that if God doesn't heal them, death is coming. AKA: God's will is the negative, pain bringing, WORST CASE SCENARIO option.
And this too, shows my lack of faith and totality of fear. After all, Jesus conquered death, didn't He? God did create time, right?
So, am I:
A) Showing a lack of faith (which is what fear is).
B) Asserting my will over God's as best option (arrogance).
C) Leaving God plenty of room to fail, while still having Him exist (doubt.)
D) All of the above.
Yep. Answers D. And that fact shook me when I learned it. Did I really just give GOD a scapegoat? The words "Oh ye of little faith. Why did you doubt?" rang in my head. I had no reason too doubt Him. So why was I? Why was I perpetually giving God room to fail me, instead of just truly praying for His will, and NOT mine be done?
So I'm trying something new. I'm still praying to God to heal people, and that He will bring me a job. But when I say, "Your will be done" I mean just that. "Lord, your holy, perfect, timeless, all knowing, best interest having will be done." Not "Lord, here's what I need, here's what's best. Please do it. But if you don't, that's K' Wasn't Your will. I'll call back later."
Because God always answers prayer. Sometimes it's with a "yes", sometimes a "no". Sometimes a "not now". Or a hundred other replies. He's not a magic 8-ball. :D So when I pray for God's will, I have to place my trust in Him that His will be done, and not mine. Not only that, but that His will is best, and that He will take care of me/you/us. He promised us this. His love, His guidance, His care, His support...if we follow Him, all these things.
This post was rather disjointed, I realize. It's because the topic is rather slippery for me to hold on to. That's partially why I'm writing it down; to REMEMBER.
I've got so much to be taught. It's apparent that going by my own self isn't going to get me very far. XD But that's alright...Because that timer I mentioned? It was set by God. And that place I told you about? Built by a professional carpenter. XD
As usual, drop a comment to comment, correct, call me George, or send me Money from some Prince in Nigeria.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Take the leap of faith, Indy!
Possibly my favorite part of that movie. I actually used to jump off stuff and pretend I was landing on an invisible bridge...And the times I remember that, I'm eternally grateful I made it through high school.
At any rate, my snake has been sick this week. My fault again...that's an issue with snakes. 90 odd percent of the problems they have are caused by the environment. AKA: The owner. XD With a dog, you can say "Hey. You ate that". With a snake it's like, "Um...sorry man. MAH BAD." -_-
At any rate, there came a point where I was so tired, worried sick, and just plain meh...the only thing I could do was put it in God's hands. But then I hesitated...could I do that? Admit that the only thing I knew to do was pray? Trust in Him to make it right?
I had/have trouble with that. To sum it up, I'll quote one of my favorite books:
"I can objectively, but can I sincerely?"
Oddly, Brennen was in a similar situation. He had to trust God to care for one in his life he loved.
Kind of funny really, to trust God with my salvation from eternal damnation, but wonder if he can take care of a baby snake. Funny in a "that's not funny man," kind of way.
So I tried my hardest to place it in God's hands. And you know what? Baby snake didn't eat his meal. But the next day, I talked to a friend who knows snakes. He said I may have the cage a bit hot, and after I lowered the temp, Baby seemed to be doing better. And he's been getting better since. Not because of me, or my friend, but God.
And once again, I learned that my option is not always God's will. Which is for another post, I think.
At any rate, my snake has been sick this week. My fault again...that's an issue with snakes. 90 odd percent of the problems they have are caused by the environment. AKA: The owner. XD With a dog, you can say "Hey. You ate that". With a snake it's like, "Um...sorry man. MAH BAD." -_-
At any rate, there came a point where I was so tired, worried sick, and just plain meh...the only thing I could do was put it in God's hands. But then I hesitated...could I do that? Admit that the only thing I knew to do was pray? Trust in Him to make it right?
I had/have trouble with that. To sum it up, I'll quote one of my favorite books:
"I can objectively, but can I sincerely?"
Oddly, Brennen was in a similar situation. He had to trust God to care for one in his life he loved.
Kind of funny really, to trust God with my salvation from eternal damnation, but wonder if he can take care of a baby snake. Funny in a "that's not funny man," kind of way.
So I tried my hardest to place it in God's hands. And you know what? Baby snake didn't eat his meal. But the next day, I talked to a friend who knows snakes. He said I may have the cage a bit hot, and after I lowered the temp, Baby seemed to be doing better. And he's been getting better since. Not because of me, or my friend, but God.
And once again, I learned that my option is not always God's will. Which is for another post, I think.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Mind games.
Chug the Pepsi!
Now that the important stuff is out of the way, can I tell about an experience I had earlier?
OK, no one said no in that awkward silence.
I was riding in the car with my Dad, and out of the blue, he says "Sometime, I would like to see inside your mind. Know how it works."
Nothing could be more horrifying to me. I'd rather stand nude in front of a crowd. That, they could forget...the stuff that goes on in my mind...that I am ashamed of.
So I expressed my disgust and vehemence the following way "...Nah."
So yeah. I honestly think people would hate me if they could see in my mind. It's not like I walk around thinking of evil/dirty thoughts. Just the random stuff that pops in my head that I have to push away. I hope you understand what I'm talking about, as I would hate to be alone in this.
Anyway, it hit me hard as I sat there: GOD KNOWS EVERYTHING IN MY MIND. And...He loves me still. Not only loves me, but wants to be with me. Wants me to be with Him. Not just for awhile, but for forever.
Knowing all that goes on in my head, all the terrible thoughts, selfish ideas, ETC...He still decided to give His Perfect, clean, Holy, Son up in my place. The son that never let's Him down. The Son that never failed in His life. The Son that was wiling to die in a most horrible way for all people. He gave him up for me. And you. Everyone on this planet that fails and falls short (AKA: All of us).
That's...mind blowing. The amount of love...words cannot describe it.
Now that the important stuff is out of the way, can I tell about an experience I had earlier?
OK, no one said no in that awkward silence.
I was riding in the car with my Dad, and out of the blue, he says "Sometime, I would like to see inside your mind. Know how it works."
Nothing could be more horrifying to me. I'd rather stand nude in front of a crowd. That, they could forget...the stuff that goes on in my mind...that I am ashamed of.
So I expressed my disgust and vehemence the following way "...Nah."
So yeah. I honestly think people would hate me if they could see in my mind. It's not like I walk around thinking of evil/dirty thoughts. Just the random stuff that pops in my head that I have to push away. I hope you understand what I'm talking about, as I would hate to be alone in this.
Anyway, it hit me hard as I sat there: GOD KNOWS EVERYTHING IN MY MIND. And...He loves me still. Not only loves me, but wants to be with me. Wants me to be with Him. Not just for awhile, but for forever.
Knowing all that goes on in my head, all the terrible thoughts, selfish ideas, ETC...He still decided to give His Perfect, clean, Holy, Son up in my place. The son that never let's Him down. The Son that never failed in His life. The Son that was wiling to die in a most horrible way for all people. He gave him up for me. And you. Everyone on this planet that fails and falls short (AKA: All of us).
That's...mind blowing. The amount of love...words cannot describe it.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Storm bringer.
Hmm...I get the feeling a storm is brewing in my life. I'm no seer, to be sure. But it's like the feeling that I have about this year bringing change. the odd thing, it doesn't bring fear, but excitement. It doesn't seem like a bad thing, either. It's not ominous...more...like coming to the apex of a roller coaster.
Odd. But cool. Plus, spicy barbecue sauce.
Odd. But cool. Plus, spicy barbecue sauce.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Like pieces of the sun, our lives burn on and on and on.
I'm willing to shine on. ^_^
House of Heroes. Yet quite appropriate.
This past weekend, I spent my days over at my Cousins house. I learned...a lot. Too much to put down. But here are some of the tidbits.
1) God always answer's prayers. And He always answers them according to His will. However, what we think is the best option, is not always what truly is.
2) Sometimes, being with someone is enough. No actions are required. I didn't need to hang out at a theme park, or go to the movies to enjoy being with my cousins. On fact, some of the best time I remember was as I was going to sleep, chatting with "Jim".
3) The Lords prayer is amazing. But mindlessly repeating it was not what Jesus had in mind when He gave it to us. And He did give it to us. That prayer contains petitions for the past, present and future. Food, forgiveness. It's awesome.
4) I'm an idiot. I knew this already. But this weekend cemented it.
5) Sometimes, making something pariah intensifies the feelings surrounding it. Nebulous and vague...yet understandable, I think.
6) The heart is a problem in churches. Does the building cause the majority of problems? Nope. How about the Bible? Sorry. The problem is, as usual, you/me/us. The heart of a human...It's a dark place.
7) Despite what many modern theologists would say, a spiritual war is happening...and do we really consider all that means? In a war, you can get killed, maimed, wounded. The enemy doesn't give a rip how they win, as long as they win...diplomacy, savagery, stealth. Theses tactics come against us everyday. Not only that, but our actions, my actions, could cause the death of another.
I'm writing this down not only to share, but also to remember. Please drop your insights as to what I've learned. If you wish.
House of Heroes. Yet quite appropriate.
This past weekend, I spent my days over at my Cousins house. I learned...a lot. Too much to put down. But here are some of the tidbits.
1) God always answer's prayers. And He always answers them according to His will. However, what we think is the best option, is not always what truly is.
2) Sometimes, being with someone is enough. No actions are required. I didn't need to hang out at a theme park, or go to the movies to enjoy being with my cousins. On fact, some of the best time I remember was as I was going to sleep, chatting with "Jim".
3) The Lords prayer is amazing. But mindlessly repeating it was not what Jesus had in mind when He gave it to us. And He did give it to us. That prayer contains petitions for the past, present and future. Food, forgiveness. It's awesome.
4) I'm an idiot. I knew this already. But this weekend cemented it.
5) Sometimes, making something pariah intensifies the feelings surrounding it. Nebulous and vague...yet understandable, I think.
6) The heart is a problem in churches. Does the building cause the majority of problems? Nope. How about the Bible? Sorry. The problem is, as usual, you/me/us. The heart of a human...It's a dark place.
7) Despite what many modern theologists would say, a spiritual war is happening...and do we really consider all that means? In a war, you can get killed, maimed, wounded. The enemy doesn't give a rip how they win, as long as they win...diplomacy, savagery, stealth. Theses tactics come against us everyday. Not only that, but our actions, my actions, could cause the death of another.
I'm writing this down not only to share, but also to remember. Please drop your insights as to what I've learned. If you wish.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
When we last left our hero...
The Chozon1 was backed into a corner. He'd openly let the cyber virus hit him several times, not knowing the damaging effects it would have. Then, as it raised it's weapon, the supervisor stepped in and shielded the "hero" from the devastating final blast.
Couldn't leave that post as the last one for a week. Wouldn't have been fitting.
I'm discovering this place is a good place to hold myself accountable too. Or at least, a good place to talk about how I feel about chips (corn is OK, not a big fan of potato).
Also, I wonder...would it be cliche` if I started railing against myself? Probably. But at least I'm not cliche`. Not in a definitive sense. Big picture, maybe.
How about the Lincoln monument? It's...big sculpture of a sitting man...But hey, he's wearing clothes! *glares at Renaissance artists*
Couldn't leave that post as the last one for a week. Wouldn't have been fitting.
I'm discovering this place is a good place to hold myself accountable too. Or at least, a good place to talk about how I feel about chips (corn is OK, not a big fan of potato).
Also, I wonder...would it be cliche` if I started railing against myself? Probably. But at least I'm not cliche`. Not in a definitive sense. Big picture, maybe.
How about the Lincoln monument? It's...big sculpture of a sitting man...But hey, he's wearing clothes! *glares at Renaissance artists*
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Failure.
Bah. Continued failure. You know that tiny voice in your head that says it's fine to do stuff? I've learned first hand that it's probably a bad idea to listen. Frankly, I had a long detailed post written out about how exactly I'd failed...but I deleted it. Too much revealing stuff, not to mention I doubt it needs be said.
The point of this? You can rationalize anything...I've "preached" to others how "Many Christians care, few choose to remain caring when it comes to the content they let in their mind".
Bah. I could spit on myself. I'm learning day by day that there is usually more than two answers to a situation. Take the above for example. I didn't choose to not care. At no point did I say "To heck with my morality". I rationalized myself into it slowly, talking it over thoroughly in my mind, even as I stepped further into darkness.
Bah. I wish someone would slap me. I know God forgives me, and thankfully I was the only one hurt in this particular situation. And not even to a "serious" level...but I hate not realizing this until after the fact. I failed big time.
The point of this? You can rationalize anything...I've "preached" to others how "Many Christians care, few choose to remain caring when it comes to the content they let in their mind".
Bah. I could spit on myself. I'm learning day by day that there is usually more than two answers to a situation. Take the above for example. I didn't choose to not care. At no point did I say "To heck with my morality". I rationalized myself into it slowly, talking it over thoroughly in my mind, even as I stepped further into darkness.
Bah. I wish someone would slap me. I know God forgives me, and thankfully I was the only one hurt in this particular situation. And not even to a "serious" level...but I hate not realizing this until after the fact. I failed big time.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
6 days
Into the new year, and it's not very different from the old. At least not in any tangible way. I've got a nebulous feeling that something will change though. Soon, I hope. I'm looking into earning enough cash to get a car, to get a "real" job at Mac D's or sommat. Then again, if I find a source of income to the point where I can afford a car, why would I want to get a "real" job?
Aside from the other reasons I made to get a job, I also want to upgrade my guitar equipment. Get some real pedals, and an amp capable of shattering ear drums, windows, and the hopes of my parents. XD
Actually, they've been nothing but supportive of my musical endeavors. Except for the occasional "Stop playing games and guitar and wasting your life" speech's. That obviously...were not effective. :D
This year, I hope and pray, is going to be much different than the last 19. I'ma be twenty this year. XD That'll be odd.
Aside from the other reasons I made to get a job, I also want to upgrade my guitar equipment. Get some real pedals, and an amp capable of shattering ear drums, windows, and the hopes of my parents. XD
Actually, they've been nothing but supportive of my musical endeavors. Except for the occasional "Stop playing games and guitar and wasting your life" speech's. That obviously...were not effective. :D
This year, I hope and pray, is going to be much different than the last 19. I'ma be twenty this year. XD That'll be odd.
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